A Guide to Recovering from the Trauma of a Toxic Relationship

Toxic Relationship

A toxic relationship is not always easy to identify or bear. Thinking about it, we wrote this text for you. Who never heard that relationships require work hard and that disagreements are part of it? However, this thought is quite superficial and is capable of masking a toxic relationship , emotionally abusive and really a source of suffering. If at this moment you feel that your love relationship is not doing you any good, seek help from a psychologist to support you as soon as possible.

Toxic Relationship

What is a toxic relationship?

We can define a toxic relationship as any relationship between people who are not supportive of each other. Usually there is conflict and one seeks to undermine the other, where there is competition and disrespect.  While every relationship goes through ups and downs, a toxic relationship is consistently unpleasant and draining for people, to the point where the negative moments outweigh the good moments. As such, a toxic relationship is mentally, emotionally, and even physically damaging to one or both of the participants. It is also necessary to remember that toxic relationships are not only loving: friendly, family and professional relationships can also be toxic.

How to identify a toxic relationship?

The first and simplest of the signs is persistent unhappiness, that is, if a relationship ceases to bring joy. You start feeling sad, angry, and anxious or drained constantly. Signs of a toxic relationship also include negative changes in your mental health, personality, or self-esteem. These changes can range from conditions clinically diagnosable by a psychologist  such as depression , anxiety or eating disorders to constantly feeling distressed or uncomfortable especially in relation to your partner.  According to psychology, feeling like you can’t talk or express your concerns with your partner is another sign that something is wrong and that you may be in a toxic relationship.

How to overcome the trauma of a toxic relationship

1. Admit that the relationship is toxic

The first step is admitting it. If you’re in a toxic relationship, then you’re probably in and out of denial about how toxic the relationship really is.  One moment you are repulsed and the next you are making excuses and justifying your partner’s intolerable behavior. However, as long as you don’t admit that you are in a dangerous relationship, your partner will continue to lie, cheat, humiliate you, exploit you for money, emotionally or physically abuse you. If your partner causes you chronic pain and is not responsible for it, break up with them. Think about it very carefully.

2. Stop Believing This Relationship Is All You Have

If you’re in a toxic relationship, as described above, then you’ve probably stopped trusting friends and family. That is, you keep your relationship separate from others because you are afraid your loved ones will see how toxic it is. And even worse, you feel like your toxic partner is the only person who will understand and love you above all else. Whereas withdrawing from others’ lives and avoiding further intimate interactions reinforces the idea that you will never be loved by anyone other than your toxic partner.  That thought will send you into a state of panic and prevent you from drawing boundaries and sincerely holding your partner accountable.  That’s why it’s so important to build your support system: your family, your friends, joining a gym, joining a hiking or book club, for example. Surround yourself with people who will care about you and your story so that if your toxic relationship ends, you won’t feel alone, but you will feel embraced.

3. Detoxification

You’re deluding yourself and wasting your time if you believe it’s possible to maintain a friendly relationship with a toxic ex-partner.  Always remember: these people are experts at manipulating and getting others to feel sorry for them. So, if you stay in touch, you will allow this individual to continue working on attracting you back to him. After the breakup, try to stay away both physically and virtually. Psychologists  warn that the only realistic way out of a toxic relationship is to stop all contact so you can finally start over.

4. Invest in your personal growth 

The change will not be instantaneous. So take all the time you spent trying to understand your toxic partner better, or fixing the broken relationship, and invest in yourself. In this sense, going to therapy is fundamental both to understand how that toxic dynamic was created, as well as for you to forgive yourself for enduring so much in a relationship, and above all, not to blame yourself for your past.

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