What are the pillars of a healthy relationship?

healthy relationship

A relationship, whether monogamous or polyamorous , should be peaceful, overflowing with affection, affection and respect. After all, when we talk about a loving union, we also talk about complicity and partnership. But how to maintain a healthy relationship? To answer this question, Tips for Women talked to psychologist Rafaela Rocha Marfa Freitas , who works clinically with relationships and couples therapy. Check it out below.

healthy relationship

What is a healthy relationship?

To contextualize, the psychologist points out that a relationship is understood as the union of two or more people. Based on this statement, she signals the complexity of a relationship, “we are talking about different creations, different thoughts”, which implies some common conflicts. However, Rafaela says that “we can consider as healthy that relationship based on the pillars of respect, trust, communication and willingness to be together”. For the professional, a healthy relationship is one that promotes well-being for the people involved and that, even in the face of conflicts, “there is a disposition for resolution, based mainly on communication”. The psychotherapist points out that, even though suffering “is an inherent condition of human beings”, no person enters into a relationship aiming to suffer. “When we seek a loving relationship, we seek mutual growth, learning, love and respect,” she says.

Therefore, the professional warns that a relationship that causes suffering for either party can end up affecting other areas of life and informs that “the consequences of an abusive and disrespectful relationship are devastating. In some cases, if there is no intervention or professional assistance, this relationship can become irreversible”. Therefore, it is very important to have a relationship that strengthens you within your individuality and subjectivity.

How to have a healthy relationship

The importance of maintaining a healthy relationship is clear, but what to do to establish the health and well-being of a relationship or even to start a healthy union? Next, check out some essential points addressed by the psychologist!

1. Understand that your relationship is unique

One of the most important things in having a healthy relationship is letting go of comparison. After all, just like human beings, relationships are unique. Rafaéla emphasizes that each couple has its own relationship dynamics and states that “it is necessary to avoid comparisons and understand that, within a relationship, it is necessary to create specific and functional agreements that are based on what makes sense for the couple”.

2. Know that dialogue is fundamental

It is not new that experts claim that dialogue is extremely important for any relationship. According to Rafaéla, direct and assertive communication helps the couple to “align expectations, talk about the necessary adjustments and review some previous agreements”, positively impacting the relationship.

3. Respect each other’s space

Being in love makes people want to stay close, do things together, share moments, but “as individuals, we have different times and desires, and this needs to be accepted or, at least, respected in the relationship”, warns the professional. Time away from your partner, contrary to what many think, is necessary for the health of a relationship.

4. Understand that the relationship is not just made of “us”

Following the idea of ​​the previous topic, the psychologist points out that, for the health of a relationship, it is necessary “to understand that in relationships there is the I-you-we”. Rafaéla also points out that a relationship is not a merger and, therefore, should not nullify the individuality of either party. She clarifies that “some things, even if they don’t make sense to one of the parties, will continue to make sense to the other. The healthy thing is that individuality continues to exist”.

5. Be flexible

According to the psychotherapist, flexibility is also an important factor for a healthy relationship, as “it allows you to meet some of the other’s needs, even if they don’t make sense to you”, something that should happen in a handway. pair. This concerns the ability to renounce certain things in favor of the other and vice versa, which differs from annulling one’s individuality.

6. Like dialogue, complicity is fundamental

Another very important factor mentioned by the psychologist is the friendship between the couple. A healthy relationship must be based on partnership, trust, respect and mutual affection, which implies complicity. “Have your partner as your best friend and as a lap for times of adversity. Remember that relationships should not be a stage for competitions and accusations”, signals Rafaéla.

7. Allow yourself to be vulnerable

It may seem simple, but being vulnerable is fundamental to a good relationship. About this, the professional says that, currently, despite much talk about the negative characteristics of emotional dependence , “we need to understand that being in a relationship implies some degree of dependence, in the sense of relying on the other and exposing your vulnerabilities” . Talking about your weaknesses is not wrong and this needs to be done to keep the relationship healthy! There may not be a magic formula for relationships, but observing a few points can help you refine your relationship. In addition, the psychologist points out that the most important thing in a union is “to understand the differences between you and your partner, because it is not the differences that define whether a relationship is bad or has no future”.

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